I have been working with a couple of maternity homes out here in California that, indeed, like my sign says "Love them both." One is a home for women, each of whom  has chosen to place their child with a loving, adoptive family. (Yes, that's Lamb of God!) The other takes in women also in unplanned pregnancy situations and may also take in other children the women have or will find a place for them to be together. Both are operated by amazing people who love unconditionally and will do so much to accompany a woman through pregnancy, delivery, and beyond. There are also many pregnancy resource centers here that want to support women and the babies they carry. 

While praying for the women and the babies, we were actually steps away from a Culture of Life Family Services clinic that is willing and able to assist and support women in unplanned/crisis pregnancies. These women will never feel so loved, I'm willing to wager. And, rather than feeling abandoned or judged they will find comfort and support in these homes and centers. The people I've met who are involved in the 'womb to tomb' life movement are truly walking the walk right along side women in need, and their babies, as well. 

I had not known nor understood what an incredible group of people are working to enhance the quality of life and to ensure the dignity of women and their unborn babies. I don't do much at all in this arena beyond office work and phone calls. Since I got involved out here, though, I am humbled by the generosity and compassion I've witnessed and it makes me grateful that I got involved with the culture of life. The individuals I've seen in action out here are amazing.

And this is not unique to Southern California. Let us pray and perhaps financially and/or practically (through volunteering) support these amazing agencies and maternity homes. In so doing, you'll truly be healing the women and the babies they carry who need compassionate care. I just think more people need to know about these options. It can make a real, positive difference.  

Yes, as the song below asserts, Moms matter. You betchya. And so do Dads. But this song is about our moms. And it's beautiful. Matthew West sings a lot about every day people and every day life. I love his songs, and his messages. So simple, direct, and just beautiful.
Watch the video I've shared below. Mr. West makes a great point about the vital influence moms have on their children. In this case, it's all blessedly positive, though we can agree that's not always the case.
From my Christian perspective, and just my living a life as a female for almost 60 years and as a mother, families need to love and support all children. Yes, teens are still children, especially middle schoolers. Moms and Dads need to remember that love does not always mean a "yes" to our children's wants or demands. A "not now, child" response, followed by helping our children to get through tough periods in their young lives and its many challenges, is a great way to support our offspring. Our job is to let them grow up. And sometimes we can't fix the problems, but we can always listen and we can always love.
I hope we can all agree that children need responsible adults to support them through times of struggle. But we won't always be able to 'kiss is and make it better.' We can, though, be examples of unconditional love and compassion.
We can't allow our culture or others to sideline loving parents and their very crucial role in the healthy development of children. I maintain along with many others, that families are foundational to American life. They are foundational to anyone's life. Parents can and, I think, should help their children figure out who they are becoming. Gentle guidance, giving options, showing patience, being examples of patience and forgiveness, all these things help our little ones as they grow up. 
If you read me with any regularity my conclusion will not surprise you. God is conspicuously missing from too many families and from the lives of too many people. Praying for our kids is essential, too. Please watch and listen with open minds and hearts. God is where our hope comes from. Our children need to know that. Every human needs to know. Let us pray.
youtu.be/GSY2psr8RNQ






* "Do little things with great love." - St. Terese of Lisieux

I read this quote this morning on my very own Facebook account, in my Memories. I actually keep Facebook around at this point just to look at my memories, and to post encouraging or inspiring words like those above. I really do try to be a positive person in a world that is too often filled with too much negativity. 

There is a lot of anger out there and a lot of judgment and condemnation of those who think or believe differently. Additionally, there is very little forgiveness and not a lot of patience or compassion for those who are suffering, I'm sad to say.

But one place I have not found any of those negative tendencies is in maternity homes like Lamb of God or in the Pregnancy Resource Centers that operate to help any woman who finds herself in a crisis situation because she is pregnant. 

In my limited time working within the Culture of Life in San Diego I have seen firsthand how the people who are drawn, or better, called to this type of ministry are non-judgmental, incredibly forgiving, unfailingly humble, and hardworking - every day that they show up. And they do show up every day. 

Don't let anyone who is pro-abortion tell you that the Culture of Life cares only for babies. A single day, a single hour, within any of these facilities reveals just how wrong that impression is. Spending time with these loving, compassionate, patient people (predominantly other women, by the way) inspires and humbles the inquiring visitor or office help like me who comes in once a week to help out where I can. 

I spent a couple of years as a committee member helping to organize the San Diego Walk For Life and I pray outside Planned Parenthood clinics during the 40 Days for Life campaign a couple of times a year. Because of those experiences that have allowed me to meet so many pro-life individuals, I have witnessed up close and personal the true love of neighbor that exudes from these individuals who only want to accompany a woman in need, to walk beside and help support her from pregnancy, through birth, through whatever else a woman may need after the baby is born. Whether she seeks to place her baby with an adoptive family or raise the child this woman may need all sorts of resources to attain her goals after the birth. 

The woman and child are precious in the eyes of the Lord and in the eyes of those who step forward to assist, giving their best and their 'all' to love them both. "Love them both" is my favorite slogan from the Culture of Life. It's about Life for all involved. Fathers, too, if they want to come along, and the people in these homes and agencies want them to, so sincerely. 

It's about love and about life. Life is given to each of us by our Creator who loves each one of us into being and beholds us every moment of that life. So each life is precious, each life is sanctified, each person, in the womb or carrying the baby, has dignity, regardless of the circumstances because they are each a child of the King. That's what the Culture of Life is all about. The dignity of each person, and the love of neighbor who, as Jesus explains in the parable of the Good Samaritan, is every person we encounter, it is each of us. And Jesus also enjoins us to love and support "the least of these." You can't get much smaller or "least" than a baby in the womb. 

"Love them both." Love each one. Love one another. The command is the same. We are not to discard anyone, at any stage of life. No life is worthless, no life is disposable. As a civilized society every citizen should work to support and welcome a woman in need. And the baby she carries should also be welcomed and loved, rejoiced over and allowed to thrive.

I just wanted to share my thoughts today on the importance of our maternity homes and pregnancy resource centers today because too many people have no idea. As I speak to friends and acquaintances about the world I've been blessed to become a part of in a small and insignificant way, I realize how true it is that not enough of the public knows what is really go on in the pro-life movement or what I like to refer to as the Culture of Life. May the culture at large learn of this life-supporting and life-enhancing Culture and be transformed to look and act just like those who are in it now, working for and loving them both - mother and child. 

I've had more than one Bible scholar tell me that, in the Bible a mountain top moment means an encounter with God. Often God is visibly seen and heard in Old Testament accounts of these experiences. In the New Testament Jesus, the Second Person of the Trinity, is also often described as being on top of a mountain. Whether it is for His followers to listen to Him or for Him to speak to His Heavenly Father, up the mountain we are led, literally in Scripture and metaphorically in our own understanding and in our hearts. 
And so I think we are meant to emulate these encounters in our own lives. How? Well, we can't always find a mountain, sadly. But we can always encounter the Lord if we seek Him. That's prayer - communicating with God either silently and by ourselves (like Jesus when He goes away to talk to His Dad) or with a group as when we go to Sunday Mass or a prayer service (like the followers who listen in rapt attention to Jesus' Sermon on the Mount). Those can be our mountain top moments.
But I will argue that some of our deepest and most profound encounters with our Creator, the One who loved us into being and beholds us every minute of our life, are when we are down deep in the darkest, lowest valleys. I know it's true for me. When we are down in the valley of the shadow of death, all distractions disappear. When we are in the valleys we find we are longing for God in a way we never could have imagined when life was good and sunny and warm on a beautiful mountain top.
God is always calling us to Himself, but the noise of the world, and all its colors and smells, all of the things we become attached to in our own narrow view of things, keep us from hearing God's voice.
It's a still small voice. God is gentle, Jesus tells us He is humble of heart. There is an expectation that the yearning we have within us for God, an emptiness that can only be filled by God, will cause us to "perk up our ears," spiritually speaking, to hear the Lord calling us. And then we can respond and join in conversation with Him. We can commune with our Creator. And sometimes, sometimes the only way for God to get our attention is to bring us down to the valley, or at least allow us to wander off and find ourselves there. It's quiet there, it's dark. We can detach from the concerns of the world in the valley.
Listen when find yourself there. Listen and expect. Expect to hear His voice, to know His mercy and love. Accept God's grace that is always searching for you. God is just waiting for you to open up and let His grace in. Grace is a participation in the life of God. God is perfect, God is love, God is good. Who wouldn't want those things, to be an active participant in them with Him? The other thing about God is, He wants our participation in this life! He is inviting us to participate. Not because He needs us, but because He knows how much we need Him to truly be happy. We won't find that happiness anywhere else.
Give it a try. Even if you are neither in the valley right now nor on the mountain top. But just know that those moments of real communion with our God are all fruitful, they are all actually mountain top moments in the Scriptural sense. God wants our participation, cooperation, communication. He doesn't need any of it. He wants it out of the unfathomable love He has for each one.
So go ahead and make some space in your life for a mountain top moment, make for yourself a quiet place with no distractions, detach from all your cares and concerns. Just listen for the Voice. God will speak to your heart. Ask Him in. No cause for apprehension when Love is waiting to enter in.

This post first appeared in www.DrowningInLemonade.com

In today's Old Testament reading, God tells Moses, as the Egyptians are bearing down upon the Israelites, "Fear not!" He goes on to tell this beleaguered leader that they just need to keep still. The Lord God will fight for them. And so He does!

I love this passage in Scripture. It gives me such hope and is a perfect reminder that God is in control even when it seems like all is lost or nothing makes sense. We must continue to trust and believe. That's where our hope comes from. Trusting and believing that God, who never once stops thinking about any of us, has a Plan. 

That Divine Plan is not something we will ever truly understand this side of Heaven. And that's OK. If we did, who would need faith? If we were all "in" on the plan, what would be the advantage in that for us? I know a guy who always reads the last couple of pages of a novel when he first gets it. He wants to know how the story ends. It drives me crazy, as a writer. But I understand the temptation. We all want to know how the story ends, right?

Well, the thing is, for those of faith in our Creator God, Lord of all, we know how it ends. Love has already won. Jesus on the Cross, dying for our sakes, sinners one and all, that's the Victory! Everything from His Resurrection on is not the "rest of the story." It's the climax of it, for sure. But the love of Jesus remains, the Peace of Jesus remains, the Truth of Jesus, the Life of Jesus, remains with us. The Holy Spirit is with us, dwelling within. Yes, you temple of the Holy Spirit you! As believers in the Risen Lord, we have the Victory Jesus gained for us. Jesus, the Way, goes before us to make a place for us in His Father's House. 

So, we don't have to know every detail of how this Plan works itself out. We just have to cling to the faith and trust we have in a God who never fails us, a God who will not abandon us, in a God who fights for us. And for this reason, even when things seem upside down, we can follow St. Paul's wisdom: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to Godyoutu.be/s-410S9wP0s." Yes, in thanksgiving, because we know that God has redeemed us, rescued us. God fights for us still, but it's not a question about who will win the  battle between good and evil. God's got this. He always has. And He always will. 

Remember that God is with us. Be still and know that He is God. Everything else is secondary. 

I just finished reading an amazing, moving article by National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez about the ‘pro-life’ movement. She writes about “healing our divided hearts.” I probably should just post her article and stop typing, but it’s got me thinking, as any well-written, thoroughly thought out piece of writing should. I am wondering why the ‘pro-choice’ side is so adamantly opposed to those who want to help women in unplanned pregnancies. (Click on the highlighted "article" above to find her essay.)
 
What is so wrong with people of good intent, who love the mother as well as her unborn child, accompanying the woman through her pregnancy, and then delivery, and beyond. Need a job? We can help with that. Need your GED? We can help with that. Need to find an affordable place to live? Affordable childcare? We can help with that. Need to learn how to care for an infant? We can help with that. Need help learning how to budget your income? We can help with that. Need someone to talk to, cry with, pray with? We can help with all of that, too.
 
The Pregnancy Resource Centers around the country are here to help a woman with so many of her needs during an unplanned pregnancy and beyond. There are also maternity homes that do the same, if a pregnant woman, i.e. a mother (once you’re carrying a child, you’re a mother), can’t live at home any longer. And then there are a few places like Lamb of God Maternity Home who help women who decide that the best thing for their baby and themselves is to place the child in an adoptive home, a home that is so eager and prepared to take in and love a new family member. 
 
Why are these options, the ones that encourage and then assist a woman who carries her baby to term, so abhorrent to many if not all in the pro-choice camp? I really wanna know. There is no exploitation of women here. There is only love and support. Why would anyone recoil against such a service?
Maybe it's out of ignorance. It could be out of fear. It could be out of the desire to ensure that one’s particular business is not made obsolete. The abortion industry makes quite a tidy sum. I suppose that’s fear. But I think the fear I’m referring to is more a fear of the unknown. What happens if we show compassion and give our love and support to every woman who did not plan to have a baby and cannot care for that child? How much will be asked of us? How much will we have to give? Why can’t we just advocate the “easier” way of removing the baby from his or her mother’s body so we don’t have to deal with that ‘problem’ anymore? 
 
But how does the mother fare after this? If she is coerced into that abortion facility and was unsure if she was doing the right thing, but does it anyway, there will be long term emotional scars that go with her out of that experience. If she feels she doesn’t have any other choice, the result is the same. It’s time for the voices of the alternative to abortion speak more loudly than the voices that seek to destroy human lives and often the women who carry those lives. 
 
We probably can’t speak more loudly on social media or in the press than the pro-abortion side. But locally, in our towns, in our communities, we can speak quite profoundly and distinctly through our actions. We need to do a better job of letting people know that the Pregnancy Resource Centers are available and ready to help these women in need of our loving embrace, of our resources, of our knowledge that can improve their lives and those of their unborn children. 
​
For a list of some of our local PRC’s and other life affirming agencies including Lamb of God Maternity Home, please contact info@agnusdeifoundation.org. Lamb of God offers a "Come and See" option for a pregnant woman who is unsure of how she will proceed. LoG provides housing and support at no cost to the woman while she considers her option. Call or text 760-715-6463 for more information. 
 
 

​A couple of weekends ago a rather impressive number of men gathered to witness for life, for babies and the women who carry them. And that is a beautiful thing. This year’s Men’s March Against Abortion in Washington, D.C. was a first so we can hope that the word will spread and more men will make the trip to our nation’s capital to join in the march next year.
 
Many in our American culture tends to think in terms of women only when they consider the abortion issue. It’s a “personal choice” of the woman because she carries the baby (or clump of cells, depending on one’s outlook) so it is solely her decision whether to carry or extinguish the life within. 
 
But men have a large role in the conception, birth, and subsequent care for this child outside the womb. If only we would just allow them to take up that role, indeed, if only we would expect them to take a part in the life of the woman carrying the child they created together and in that child’s nurturing and upbringing to adulthood. 

When women have babies, deliver these tiny, unique, made-in-the-image-of-God, people, there is an expectation that the mothers will care for them. But fathers have an obligation and a right to help raise and care for those children, as well. It’s up to our society to encourage this way of thinking and to actually educate or raise awareness that it’s right and just for the fathers to be involved in all aspects of a baby’s life, beginning with conception but going well beyond that moment. 
 
In the Old Testament, God instructs Moses to pass on the holy tradition of Passover after the Lord institutes the meal that commemorate His people’s deliverance from bondage. And how does that wise and obedient Moses do this? By teaching the story and all its ramifications for the Chosen People to the children!

Yes, Moses tells the adults who experienced the actual deliverance, all the plagues and all the wonders of God’s involvement in freeing the people, who prepare and eat this Passover supper, to make sure their children are involved and learn all about it so they will spend their whole lives not only doing the thing, but knowing why and passing it on to those who come after them. And still we find those who observe the Jewish faith, thousands of years later, celebrating the Passover meal and continuing to teach it to their children. That’s tradition and it only survives when we involve our children, the next generation, and tell them why we are doing things!
 
I bring up Moses’ Passover “plan” here, to suggest the reason why we have so many people walking around, especially men, who don’t know they are supposed to be good fathers, let alone what a good father is, or why it matters that they are part of their children’s lives, or why they have to cherish and protect the woman who is the mother of their children. Our western culture has really obfuscated the role of men in the family by ridiculing or criticizing the God given gifts that men possess. It’s old-fashioned, it’s sexist, it’s unnecessary for a man to be an important part of a woman’s life or a child’s life, many declare. And that is perhaps the biggest tragedy of our modern age.
 
The Men’s March Against Abortion could be called ‘The Men’s March: Taking Back Our Jobs in the Family.’ But that’s just my humble suggestion. This fight for the lives of our children has to include the women who carry them – their well-being and their desire for the father of their children to be involved in both their lives, mom and baby, no matter what. 
 
It’s an idealized view, perhaps. But if we don’t have an ideal to aspire to, then we have confusion and resentment. If we don’t have a ‘why’ for the man’s involvement in the life of a child and the woman who is that child’s mother, we have our present prevailing attitude that it’s all up to the women who are in unplanned pregnancies and the men are no longer a factor. It is not surprise, then, that many women see abortion as their only choice…

Yes, that is a tragedy for humanity, because if the children who go on living don’t know their fathers or know the love and strength that can enhance their lives, we are ignoring the family as God intended it. And when we sweep away so many children’s lives as if they are nothing, women and men also suffer. Our society becomes more callous, less compassionate, weaker and more selfish. 
 
So, kudos to the Men’s March Against Abortion for their first attempt and may God bless these men and all who will learn of it and join in next time. And may raising awareness of the crucial role men also play in the life of a child result in changed hearts in men and women so that babies who are conceived are brought to birth and loved and nurtured by both their moms and their dads. Amen. 

I saw this very true statement on some social media post a while back. I’m sorry I can’t recall where it was, but that doesn’t negate the veracity of it.
 
This is where wisdom comes from: learning from the times we lose even though we tried with everything we had; learning from mistakes we wish we could undo; learning from pain that one day turns to joy. 

Compassion is often born out of those times when we were denied kindness or mercy after we made a mistake, made a bad decision, wandered in the wrong direction. The wise are most likely battered, bruised, maybe even scarred, but they are still standing and grateful to be.
 
​The wise, compassionate ones are moved to action, to heal, to forgive, to be merciful. If you’re lucky, or better yet, when grace moves in, when you don’t win, you learn! 

The Search is an intriguing semi-autobiographical story that chronicles the lives of three strong women and the effects a ‘closed’ adoption had on all their lives. At the time the birth mother decides to place her child with an adoptive family, “closed” adoptions almost always were the norm. In a closed adoption the birth mother did not have any contact with the family who was accepting the baby. And the child would never know who his or her birth parents were. Thankfully, this is no longer the case. (Open adoptions, with the adoptive parents and their child knowing the birth mother - and sometimes the father - are most common today.) 
 
The stories of Maeve, Celia, and Nicole are shared with a candor that one could only expect from an author who has found herself after a long “journey to self-discovery,” the book’s subtitle. Each woman has her unique story to tell and the author, Dawn Nicoli, tells each woman’s tale with honesty and an understanding heart as a child of adoption herself. 

These women are not idealized or judged. The narrative throughout is shared in an objective, though personal, manner. The women do not excuse their actions or try to hide any of their motivations or actions that are germane to the telling of their stories. Interestingly, none are looking for sympathy or approval from the reader. This is just what happened and what they experienced and felt along their journeys.
 
The lives of the three women entwine because of Nicole, the daughter who has the desire and the drive to find her birth mother. In the end, it is this meeting that leads to the youngest woman, the one who is searching, over most of her life really, to discover the part of her that is missing. “What is the rest of the story?” It’s a natural question to which any inquisitive mind wants an answer. It seems to give her the closure she needs. 
 
Nicole is content and even grateful to find and meet her birth mother. But she is also thankful for her real mother, the woman who brought home that tiny baby and made a place for her in her home and, just as importantly or probably more so, in her heart. 
 
The Search is a rare glimpse into the minds and hearts of the three main characters in any adoption story. Yes, there are fathers, too, but in this scenario, the birth father is not in the picture long enough to matter and the adoptive father arguably hurts as much as he helps.
 
This is a woman’s story, or rather three women’s stories, who are inextricably linked though they don’t know each other for most of their lives. But both mothers helped make Nicole who she is, and she takes us along on her journey of self-discovery as well as the journeys of the two most crucial women in her life. Each finds out a lot about themselves by story’s end. 
 
Without both mothers, who would Nicole have been? Without Celia’s willingness to make her part of her family, she may have had a very different life without parents and a brother and may not have had the advantages she was given to make her way in the world. And without Maeve’s selfless decision to carry her baby place her in adoption, Nicole would not have been at all. 

You can find the Kindle version of The Search on Amazon at 
  https://www.amazon.com/Search-Journey-Self-Discovery-ebook/dp/B0921KXD8Q